My Music Story
My Unexpected Music Journey
Hi! I’m Rebecca Nelson, wife of Ryan Nelson and mother to 5 amazing children.
I created this website to share my music with others. Music has brought me so much joy and peace at times when I needed it most. It has drawn me closer to my Savior and helped me feel of the love the Lord has for me individually and for all His children. I hope is that in some small way, my songs can do the same for others.
The Fear
What’s your greatest fear? For me, one of my greatest fears is the thought of having to sing in front of other people. Just the thought of it makes my heart start to pound and my palms get sweaty. And it all started when I was a little girl. I have always loved music. I love how moving, motivating, powerful, peaceful, joyful, and everything in between that music can be. As a child I had the chance to sing one of my favorite songs (A Child’s Prayer) in church with my sister and some of our cousins. I sang my heart out because I just loved that song so much! I felt so good inside when we were done. Sadly, that feeling quickly faded…
A few days later I found out that my aunts, who had been in charge of the musical number, had been talking about how bad my singing was and how I had ruined the whole musical number. I was so heartbroken... and I stopped singing. I felt so embarrassed and never, ever wanted to sing in front of anyone again. Despite loving music, I never pursued anything musical afterward because of my fear of being totally incapable. And now here I am writing songs! How on earth did that happen!?
The Calling
With that background you can imagine my fear when the unthinkable happened…I walked into my bishop’s office and he said “We’d like you to serve as the Primary Music Leader.” My stomach sank. My heart raced. What in the world was he thinking?!?! I blurted out, “I’m so sorry but I know NOTHING about music. I can’t sing it, I can’t read it, I can’t lead it. I’m terrified of singing in front of anyone.”
He kept talking but my mind was swirling with thoughts of my complete inadequacy and fears of anything musical. I thought I could do anything to serve the Lord in the church, but not this. My heart ached as I wondered what to do. Then all of a sudden I felt a peaceful feeling inside telling me that although I may not be able to offer typical musical talent, I COULD offer my love for the Lord and my love for the children. And that’s exactly what I committed to do as I accepted the very unexpected assignment to teach music to the primary children.
But I couldn’t have faced this fear alone. I couldn’t have done it with out Him. I felt like in this moment, I was choosing Christ over my fears.
The Children
Although starting my new calling of teaching music to the primary children was definitely a challenge, I tried to focus on loving the kids and helping them feel the Spirit in primary each week. Some weeks went better than others, but we had some truly incredible experiences together. Back track a couple months prior to when we were making our move from Texas to Arizona... I had a dear friend who had been battling cancer for 3 years. All that she had to endure was beyond anything I could imagine. She was as faithful and brave as they come. She passed away the day we moved. Her and her precious children she left behind had been constantly on my heart.
One day during singing time I was thinking of her dear children, and the pain they were experiencing with the loss of their mother. Then I started looking around at all of the sweet children I was teaching and thought of the struggles many of them were facing.... some of them had lost a parent recently, some had shared experiences of being bullied regularly at school, some had parents going through divorce, some came to church with grandparents cause their parents no longer wanted to come. I realized that these children were facing very difficult challenges at such a young age. How could they endure such trials? Although it didn’t seem fair they were facing these challenges, I knew that “Because of Him” they could find hope. Songs had often brought me peace and comfort when I needed it, maybe they could do the same for them.
The Song
I couldn’t get that phrase “Because of Him” out of my mind. The thought that no matter what we are having to endure in this life, “Because of Him” we can get through it. “Because of Him” we can find peace and experience joy despite what we are facing. “Because of Him” we can live with Him again.
I wanted all the children to know that. To REALLY know that. I knew I had to write this song! Despite all my crippling musical fears, I had to get this message into the children’s hearts somehow. A song was the answer. One they could find hope from. One that would strengthen their testimony of their Savior.
Words and a melody would come to my mind as I pondered these things, and I very slowly started writing a song. A few lines here and there, coming back to it every few days...then weeks... then months. I hesitated because I just felt so silly trying to write a song. Who was I to write a song?? For months I didn’t tell anyone what I was working on because of how inadequate I felt. Even after working on lyrics and a melody, what would I do with it?? I really didn’t know where to go from there. So eventually, I just pushed it to the back burner.
The Miracle
There was a turning point that came… In my mind it was a true miracle. Unfortunately the miracle wasn’t me becoming an amazing singer! But for me, I think it was better.
One year after beginning to write my first song (which I hadn’t worked on in months), I was studying in the New Testament. I had read the miracle of Christ feeding the 5,000 many times before, however this time it was different. The Come Follow Me manual that I had been using to study talked about how the apostles must have felt, coming before the Savior with such a meager offering. They had been asked to feed the 5,000, yet all they could offer Him were a few fish and loaves of bread. Practically nothing.
Then the miracle happened! Christ took their humble, meager offering and multiplied it. And He didn’t just make it enough to feed the multitude, but MORE than enough! I thought of my own situation and my very meager offering to teach music to the primary children. What I had to offer felt so inadequate, and yet, He multiplied my offering and we had an amazing year learning and growing together. Then I thought of the song I’d been inspired to start writing. If Christ really can multiply our efforts, maybe in this case He could multiply my efforts again by helping me finish my song... maybe I really could write a song.
The Leap
I took a little leap of faith and decided to get serious about finishing the song. I went to the temple, spent time studying the scriptures, and just thought regularly about the lyrics. Very unexpectedly that process brought new lyrics and melodies to mind... And more songs!
I began to love writing songs and was thinking of them often.To bring the songs to life I needed someone who could create arrangements for me. I had to do something I feared…I had to sing my songs for them so that they could transcribe the melody. So in another leap of faith, I did. And I’m so glad I did because the results have brought me so much joy.
I still feel like I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I’m trying to figure it out as I go! I have had amazing miracles all along the way and so many experiences that are close to my heart. People reaching out to me to express how meaningful a song is to them has been such blessing to me. I hope that in some small way my songs can be a blessing in you and your family and friends lives as well.